Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from millennium. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with problems, cause misery, and other problems. Plus you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, finances, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose typically though it is only the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to think about. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a tones of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown apart, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.